What I see is all there is (WISIATI).  I see a messy home, I see a messy me.  I see me procrastinating.  I see so much work to do on my van and on me.  I am so slow.  I see failure to work hard.  I feel tired and hungry.  I feel lazy and cold.  I feel a failure................  I don't let it all get in because I focus on the positive.  I see progress (despite it being slow).  I see me trying.  I see me staying focused on staying strong with climbing.  I stay in touch with a couple good friends.  

What you see is all there is (WYSIATI).  I believe it!  What we see affects our mood and our thoughts.  It affects everything!  I need to surround myself with more positives.  I need to leave here I should work faster. 

I write this publicly because I want someone to care.  I want me to care more.  To be stronger and make life better.  I struggle.  I feel I am progressing, but it's so fucking slow.